Check out the video archives of my two weeks back at high school…including me trying to talk after running in PE and the attempt to video blog during construction class.

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To parents: “We really do care what you think, even though we don’t act like it. Push us to do our best, not just to get straight “A”s, and if we screw up, don’t freak out. Would you rather we screw up now when you can help us, or when we’re out on our own? Oh, and motivation works MUCH better than punishment. And try to trust us (even if it’s in something really small) and respect us for who we are. If you don’t respect us, it’s dang hard to respect you.”

To parents: “…its not possible for me to always be “Daddy’s perfect little girl” I’m going to mess up and when you put so much pressure on me to always do well in everything I do, it makes me nervous. I have been under constant stress since my first day of High school and that was a few YEARS ago…. there has never been a point where I felt free of bondage. The hw, the responsibilities, my job, being forced to participate in several demanding extra curricular activities, I’m just so stressed. I feel so pressured. Its all harder than you think. Also, you always ask why I’m never at church, well, I wonder why….. do you really not know? High school is killing me. Its harder than you think. Imp barely getting by, by your standards.“

Maybe peer pressure isn’t the problem. Maybe peer pressure is “the fizz”.

I had a thought the other day. Examining pressures was one of the big reasons I went back to high school. As a professional youth worker for over 10 years, I can’t begin to think of the number of times I have spoken about peer pressure. I think I may have had it all wrong. Maybe peer pressure isn’t the problem after all. I ‘m beginning to think that peer pressure is like the fizzy stuff that spills over the top of your glass when you pour Pepsi (or your soft drink of choice) into a glass. You know what I’m talking about. That stuff that is filled with bubbles that you pray doesn’t crest the lip of the glass. And then, to make sure that it doesn’t spill over, you lean down and give it a good slurp…just in time to save yourself from cleaning up a mess.

Are we asking students to do the same thing? By talking to them about peer pressure over and over, are we simply asking them to be “fizz managers?” They are telling me that they are under pressure from parents, bosses, teachers, administrators, coaches and youth pastors? And aren’t we all pouring pressure on them to achieve, excel, get good grades, win championships, complete papers, clean their rooms, do their chores, be on time, look good, stay drug free, behave, don’t have sex, don’t look at porn, eat right, and have a great attitude. Oh, now we want them to manage pressure from people who they want to accept them…who may have different home lives, parents who make screwed up choices, and impure agenda’s of their own. All the while…keep the fizzy stuff from running over the lip of the glass. “Don’t let it spill….because you’ll have to clean it up.” Or, is part of the reason we don’t want them making mistakes, because we don’t want to help clean up and realize the fizzy stuff that needs cleaned up is really from the soda in the bottom of the glass…that’s us!

These are just thoughts…but what I do know is this. Kids feel the pressure from us adults. We need to be the safe place for them in the storm of the peer pressure. We need to help them monitor the fizz. We need to make sure were not shaking the can and causing even more fizz.

I heard of a teacher last week who after hearing a students story about their home life, told him not to do his homework assignment over the weekend…”instead”, he said, “go home and get some rest. That is your assignment. You need rest more than you need homework this weekend.”

I believe that is called teaching…because that student learned something. He learned he was important. I want to be that kind of teacher. That is what I want to communicate.

Yesterday marked the two week point since I “dropped out” of high school. It is amazing how quickly I have lost track of the “real world” what my classmates are still experiencing. I’m sure my art class is well beyond their perspective drawings. Mt construction class is probably well into their second shed since I left and it is quite possible that my English class is entering the final act of “The Miracle Worker.” Here’s why I say all of that. I really miss not knowing what is going on with my classmates.

Students spend anywhere from 7-10 hours a day at school. I have a question for parents and people (like me) who work with students…When you ask a student how their day went or how school is going, do you settle for the one word answer, “Fine” or “o.k.” and then move on. I have news for all of us. Their days are completely filled with stuff. Good stuff, bad stuff, stuff they don’t understand, stuff they can’t explain, stuff they aren’t sure about, stuff that is pointless, stuff that can affect their future, stuff that makes them want to laugh, and stuff that almost makes them cry. It can’t be boiled down to one word, and shame on us for not asking better questions or for settling for weak answers.

My son, Aaron, is three. Sometimes when I come home and ask him about his day, he can spend up to ten minutes sharing the trivial parts of his trip to Fazolli’s or share for five minutes about the wagon ride he took with his friend around the block. I’m ashamed to admit it, but many times I have found myself multitasking during his stories. Trying to change clothes, check messages and mentally prepare for my evening at home. This “two weeks” experience has taught me that I need to be careful. If I am not careful with how I treat the details of his day, he may become tempted (over time) to boil his entire days experiences without me down to, “It was fine” or “I had fun.” At that point, I lose the reality of his world and border on becoming irrelevant to him.

People keep asking me about the “Two Weeks Back” experience. They want to know what I have learned. Here is the tough part. I’m still sorting out what I learned…and I need to start reaching some conclusions. I keep looking at the stats we gathered and I don’t know what to think. Here’s an example. 85% of the students we surveyed said that they feel safe at school…but 60% indicated that they have been a victim of “bullying” in school. (Definition of bullying: A person engaging in any act of intimidation toward another student.) See what I mean…a little confusing.

Then I start thinking about my classes and my two weeks there. I was really tired…but was I trying to do too much? Was I making good choices? Am I really that out of shape? Can pie really be that bad for you? And what about my own insecurities? I am a little afraid of letting some people know some of this stuff. Some of things I learned need to be changed. I may be stepping on some parent or teacher toes. One girl shared with me how she was very overwhelmed with her schedule of work, school, church and chores…even to the point of tears. When I asked if she thought she could talk with her dad about it…she responded with, “I really got ripped off in the whole dad department”. I need to share that…maybe not with him exactly…but some of this stuff is going to be hard for parents and teacher to hear. My prayer is this…that God will give me the insight and wisdom to share what needs to be shared, when it needs to be shared.

I think I’m going to visit my construction class soon. I hear they are on their second shed since I left school. (maybe I’ll get some french-silk pie while I am there)

I think I have stumbled across a new word for the English language. 
 
Switchfast: (v.) the act of multitasking with 5 or more tasks; distributing mental, emotional and spiritual energy from or between all people and tasks at hand at a pace that promotes dysfunction, brain gridlock or accusations of apathy and confusion. 
 
That is the feeling that I had for a lot of my two weeks in high school.  Constantly experiencing motion.  Being forced to concentrate and excel at the subject or task at hand…all the while trying to give energy and thought to other things that contributed to my social acceptance, my energy reserves for the rest of the day, my success as a dad and husband, my loyalties to my employer, my relationship with God and remembering to feed my dog.  

 One could make the argument that we are allowing students to experience a taste of what adulthood is like.  One might also be able to argue that students in high school and middle school are not built for “switchfast.” Their bodies are still maturing and developing.  Their brains are still growing and developing.  Are we throwing too much at them at one time?  How much of this have they brought on themselves vs. us loading their plates?  Have we taken recreational and EXTRA- Curricular activities to an unhealthy level?  I’ve seen grown adults crack under less pressure.  And I don’t think it was because they weren’t exposed to pressure as young adults…it usually has been because they were exposed to unhealthy pressure at an early age.  Are we setting students up for dysfunction by asking them to juggle so much so early?  I don’t know…my goal all along has simply been to create discussion.   Create some discussion by forwarding this entry to a few people and see what they think.  If you can’t because you are too busy…maybe you too are a victim of “switchfast.” 
 
 

As a part of my normal youth pastor responsibilities, I often pop into the high school for a lunch every couple of weeks. Many times I have dreaded that experience. Not because of the food…but because it can be intimidating. “Will I know anyone? What if I get stuck standing there alone? What will I talk about? What if I get nervous and vomit?” You know…the usual thoughts. Well…school lunch showed up on my calendar for tomorrow. I can’t wait! And it’s not all about the pie either. I’m looking forward to seeing some of the folks I became friends with over my two weeks. I hope they let me wear my ID and not the dreaded orange visitors sticker.

Here’s some more stuff from the survey.

84% of the students we surveyed indicated that they feel generally safe at School. That’s good news.

Also, with all the debate I have heard over the last few years on the news about class size, I wonder if anyone has ever asked students? Well, we did. 40% of them told us they felt their classes are too big. As an adult sitting in their seats as a student…I think I would agree with the 40%. Teachers are doing the best with what they have…but I think many students could get more attention (that they need) if classes were smaller. Maybe we should let Mitch Daniels in on this little two week experiment.

I had a thought this morning.  Student teachers.  I think every student teacher should have to go through the “Two Weeks Back” experiment to become a teacher.  I was a Telecommunications major in college.  Every one of us had to spend time in front of the camera and behind the camera no matter where we planned on working when we were done with college.  Over the last few weeks I gained so much perspective sitting in class, that I think every potential teacher would benefit from the same experience.  Or, what about this.  Every teacher is currently required (I think) to continue to work on their education even after they have been a teacher for many years.  What if one of the options they had to “continue their education” was to be a student for two weeks….homework and PE class included.   Teachers…I’m not picking on you!  But I think you would gain valuable respect from your fellow students and some insight that I know you want because you care about students.  Plus…you would get paid for two weeks to do homework instead of grading 100 different versions of it.  These are just thoughts.  I’m sure the comments on this entry will be interesting…especially from my teacher friends (and relatives).

(NOTE:  By placing the following comment in my blog…I am not suggesting that  I agree or don’t agree with it.  This is about creating conversation.) 

Here’s a comment a student left on the survey for teachers:    “We don’t only have your class! We have a total of eight classes to worry about, a social life to juggle, and doing what our parents tell us to do every night, so I’m sorry if we don’t absorb EVERYTHING you are trying to teach us.”

How many of us cruise through our day and don’t notice things. Here is what I found at high school over the last few weeks. Kids notice things (like a 33 year old sophomore in their English class) and they paid more attention to me when I noticed things (haircuts, downcast faces, kids missing class, important dates). This really wasn’t a huge surprise to me. But it was a great reminder. Also, I think we all “notice” things a lot…we simply are flying at speeds that make it difficult to bring the things we notice to attention.
(NOTE: I think we can go overboard on noticing the physical appearance thing…got to be careful with that one…we don’t want students thinking their value, or lack there of, lies in how they look or what they wear.)